If you’ve ever played American Rules Croquet, you know how frustrating “deadness” can be. Deadness occurs when a turn ends without completing a hoop, leaving the player limited options on their next turn—which can force defensive play while waiting for the opponent to clear the way.
Deadness is discouraging: Instructors encourage players to attempt breaks—running multiple hoops in a row—but most break down along the way… and their reward? They are immediately sidelined while their opponent continues. The result is a cycle where players rarely experience the satisfaction of running a clean break—and often avoid attempting one, even when the rewards are huge. But with practice, players can learn to control a break, and there’s nothing quite like the thrill and satisfaction of running several hoops in a row cleanly and under control. This is the beauty and potential of American Rules 6 Wicket when approached with the right practice.
That’s where my exercise—affectionately called “Couples Therapy”— comes in. It’s a simple, fun way for couples to practice break play together while building teamwork, patience, and shared learning.
Here’s how it works: set up a classic four-ball break scenario. Place the blue and black balls together on the west boundary between hoop 1 and hoop 2. Position the yellow ball just past hoop 2 and the red ball beside hoop 2 where a previous shot failed to score. Practice begins with one spouse taking the first hoop in the break. For example, black hits blue, then using a split shot sends it toward hoop 3 as a pioneer while rolling up on hoop 2. Then, black moves red or yellow a few feet to set up subsequent shots. After completing these shots, including scoring hoop 2, the break is passed to the spouse. Their goal is to continue the break toward hoop 3.
Anywhere along the way, if a mistake is made, there’s no penalty—they simply redo the shot and learn from it. Turns continue back and forth, allowing both spouses to practice, experiment, and learn in real time.
The benefits are clear. Couples are actively engaged, while one spouse takes all the shots for the next hoop and the other quietly observes from the sidelines. This separation allows the active player to practice without interruption or judgment, which is especially important if one partner is more experienced. By keeping the observer silent, both partners can focus on learning: the shooter develops independent thinking and problem-solving, while the observer can appreciate and support without creating tension. Most importantly, couples can experience the joy and patterns of break play without the harsh consequences of deadness, which gradually leads to more confident and capable break play over time.
Practicing this routine just twice a week for a few months can produce impressive results. Couples will develop a better understanding of break flow, improve positioning and shot selection, and gain the confidence to run clean breaks. Beyond croquet skills, the exercise encourages communication, teamwork, and mutual support—skills that extend beyond the croquet lawn.
In short, “Couples Therapy” creates a croquet practice exercise that isn’t frustrating, but fun and collaborative. It’s a chance for couples to learn together and learn from each other, celebrate small successes, and enjoy the game as a team. Whether you’re a casual player or looking to improve your competitive skills, this approach makes practicing breaks an engaging, joyful shared experience, strengthening both your croquet abilities and your connection on the lawn.
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